Out of F*cks Couscous

[untonuggan]

I first made this couscous when I was more regularly going to pot-lucks and I wanted something that was quick, cheap, easy, could be served at room temperature, and was vegetarian. (So many pot lucks full of sad vegetarians eating carrot sticks and cookies.)

My disclaimer is that usually my (Arab) girlfriend doesn't eat it because it tastes nothing at all like her family's actually authentic Middle Eastern couscous.

However, the higher-energy version gets the spices closer to right.

Skills used (out of fucks version)
- knife (optional)
- opening a can
- boiling water
- opening containers
- stirring a bowl

Skills used (don't fuck with me version)
- knife (less optional, food processor might work as alternate)
- opening a can
- boiling water
- opening containers
- active cooking at stove

Out of Fucks Couscous

Ingredients
1 cup couscous
Boiling water
1 large tomato, chopped OR large handful grape tomatoes cut in half OR large handful grape tomatoes
Lemon juice (to taste)
Olive oil
Salt
Pepper (note: can substitute white pepper if sensitive or just leave out)
1 can garbanzo beans, rinsed and dried
Bonus (depending on how out of fucks you are): onion, sliced, and caramelized

Process (approximately 10-20 minutes depending on how fast you move)
1. Pour boiling water to cover over couscous while you prep the other ingredients. The ratio is important (too much, you get soup, too little, it's like eating pebbles.) However if you leave some extra water on the stove you can adjust if you put too little water. It's better to wait 5 minutes or so after you add the water, fluff the couscous with a fork, and see how the texture is.
2. (optional bonus) slice and caremlize onion for topping.
3. In bowl of couscous, add: salt, pepper, a capful (1/2 tsp?) of lemon juice, and a dash (1 tbsp?) of olive oil to couscous. Fluff more with a fork.
3. Add tomatoes to couscous. If you sliced them and you still have energy, squeeze a few as you add them to get the juices mixed in with the rest of the couscous. (Bonus: also helps if people have a sensitivitiy to the texture of exploding tomatoes).
4. Add garbanzo beans (make sure you rinse them or it tastes weird).
5. Bonus round: add caramelized onions on top.

Don't Fuck with me Couscous

This is the version I prefer but it requires slightly more energy so I'm listing it here as an alternative. Also, maybe you prefer Out of Fucks Couscous. IDK! Maybe you will riff off these and invent your own!

1 cup couscous
Boiling water
1 large tomato, chopped OR large handful grape tomatoes cut in half OR large handful grape tomatoes
Lemon juice (to taste)
Salt
Pepper
Olive oil
1 can garbanzo beans, rinsed and dried
1 onion, sliced
1/2 tsp allspice
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp ginger
1-2 tbsp pomegranate molasses and/or orange juice

Process, 20-25 minutes, all active cooking time
1. Pour boiling water to cover over couscous while you prep the other ingredients. The ratio is important (too much, you get soup, too little, it's like eating pebbles.) However if you leave some extra water on the stove you can adjust if you put too little water. It's better to wait 5 minutes or so after you add the water, fluff the couscous with a fork, and see how the texture is.
2. While couscous is absorbing water, caremlize onion with olive oil on stove over medium-medium high heat. Add garbanzo beans along with a allspice, cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger. Stir quickly to coat and continue simmering until onions are translucent/start to caremalize. Add pomegranate molasses/orange juice (just enough so your stovetop moves from "saute" to "simmer") and reduce heat to medium-low.
3. In bowl of couscous, add: salt, pepper, a capful (1/2 tsp?) of lemon juice, and a dash (1 tbsp?) of olive oil to couscous. Fluff more with a fork.
4. Add tomatoes to couscous. If you sliced them and you still have energy, squeeze a few as you add them to get the juices mixed in with the rest of the couscous. (Bonus: also helps if people have a sensitivitiy to the texture of exploding tomatoes).
5. Add onion-garbanzo bean mixture to top of couscous, stir, serve, and enjoy.

Other variations I've been meaning to try that probably require more energy:
- Microwave a sweet potato and cube, add instead of tomatoes
- Add raisins to saute mixture?
- Some way to do this with quinoa so it's gluten free, but also doesn't take forever